of mice and men

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Shakespeare, Sonnet 116

What a week. Many highs and many lows. Some great experiences of community, and some intense confrontation with the brokenness of other community. To my shame and humiliation in many respects, it has been a most self-absorbed week. My reluctance to share with others what's going on in my life has most certainly led to my isolation, as well as the inability of others to consider that my behaviors may have been instigated by current life circumstances. It's a lonely place to be in a community which has little knowledge of my struggles, but the transcience of this particular group does not lend itself to such sharing. It seems clear that I'm often ignorant of how my behaviors may affect others, just like Lennie Small from Steinbeck's Of Mice and Men. Hopefully, I will be able to rectify these shortfallings with the help of dedicated friends in order to avoid a similar fate.

On the other hand, this week has forced me to acknowledge several people whose friendship and grace with me have made me dearly treasure our time together. A visiting luna moth reminded me of my dear friend many miles away- her patience and unconditional love and kindness and honesty and so many other things encourage me and challenge me like no other has been able to achieve. The humble servitude of two particulars interns in a less than pleasant situation (to remain unnamed) truly shocked me. Few people I know would be willing to subject themselves to such an arduous task as these two have done for me. Twice. And a third time is coming up in a few days. Yet another friend was gracious enough to confront me gently and kindly about some regretful behavior. This friendship has challenged me and scared me and surprised me in many ways. It must be truly rare someone so like-minded and concerned about many of the same questions. These friends have demonstrated to me that "Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds." Rather, this love "bears it out even to the edge of doom."

Thank God for such friends.