i am jonah.

"Marred though it may be, our world has not been abandoned but rather embraced by a God who saves us by refusing to leave the place where we are - by drawing closer, even, to our self-inflicted violence and suffering it on the cross."
- Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove in The Wisdom of Stability

We must remember that God himself did not turn his back, but rather ran toward the heart of the problem. We might contrast this with the story of Jonah, who did not desire to see the Ninevites saved and ran away from his mission (and even when the people repented, Jonah continued in his self-absorbed disgruntledness).
"But Ninevah has more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left, and many cattle as well. Should I not be concerned about that great city?" (the last verse of Jonah, 4:11). Might I point out that God loves cows? Sorry, somebody had to say it.

So, how does this relate to me? Thanks to a dear role model, Marlena Graves, she helped me realize that I have in the past viewed my role at Cedarville University similarly to the way Jonah saw his place in Ninevah. Jonah was angry at the Lord's compassion on the Ninevites; he was greatly displeased and was angry enough to die. I wouldn't say that I've been quite in that mindset toward Cedarville, but I have not embraced the idea that the Lord wishes to show grace toward Cedarville and perhaps even has a place for me to contribute to the community there.

After many formative conversations and experiences over the past few months, I have come to view the upcoming year with hope and eager expectation. I'm not thrilled about returning to the vortex of studying and meetings, but I am excited about the opportunity to encourage growth in the community in which I am placed. While I am in that place, I must commit myself to it and its transformation into a place where Christ would seek to find rest. As I have found throughout my limited experience, growth is not often painless, but it is most certainly part of the Christian life.

So, let us hold each other accountable to being a committed part of the community in which we find ourselves. Let us live redemptively where we live and work and worship and eat. And let us teach each other to have compassion on each other (and cows).